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feeling so sick with worry and stress - why am i so high strung?? i need to channel the energy but all it does is induce this very thorough invasive dread beginning from the pit of my stomach and extending outward like the branches of a poison tree. and so it fills, it fills, it drowns

fuck, as i told michelle, either i finish my thesis or it finishes me.

(right now it looks like a knockout in the first round.... and im the knocked out. but, underdog perserverance. put your money on me, the odds will win you a fortune.)

spirit of the lotus !!! FIGHTING!!!!!!!